Watch Me Grow - Week Fifty One

Happy Mother's Day!

Week 51 brought a big new development for Kaitlin - she learned how to stand up on her own, without holding onto anything. This has been huge for her walking, she no longer crawls at all - maybe only once or twice a day at the most. Now that she can stand up whenever and wherever she wants, she is all about the walking!! She walks around and around and around - around in circles if she has to. I think her favorite thing to do is walk around the yard or the living room, usually in circles, holding onto her Paddington Bear and/or a graham cracker. Man, she loves graham crackers.

Grammie and Pop-pop came to visit us this week and she has had a great time getting to know them again. The last time she saw them was almost six months ago!! It took her a little while to warm up, but now she is happy as a clam hanging out with them. And why wouldn't she? They take her on walks, bring her to the park and spoil her with lots of presents.

We will have a few more visitors at the end of the week, just in time for her first birthday. One week from today she will be one!

Watch Me Grow - Week Fifty

And the final countdown begins...two weeks until Kaitlin turns one. Are you sick of hearing me talk about it yet? *Update - by the time I had a chance to finish this post it is closer to a week and a half until her birthday...11 days to be exact*

Walking is now her number one mode of transportation, she walks way more than she crawls. I feel like over night she went from walking a little bit here and there, to full on walking all of the time. She is so much steadier on her feet, though she still falls a lot (mostly because she doesn't look where she's going). She also LOVES to carry things around while she walks, which is fun but doesn't help her much when she falls down. Usually she ends up face planting into the hardwood floor which doesn't feel great. With all this walking has come a lot of bumps, bruises and even a few bloody lips. If that's the extent of her injuries though I'll be happy!

Another new development over the last week or so has been her attachment to her lovey. Her attachment to the monkey got so intense that we had to start putting it away so that she could concentrate on walking, playing on the playground, pretty much do anything normal! I have started leaving it in her crib - or at the very least upstairs - to try and separate her from it a little bit. I know - what kind of mom am I?! I introduce a lovey to her in hopes that she get's attached to it so it can bring her comfort, and then once she is attached I take it away???!!! Not to worry - she has found a few other toys that she has become super attached to lately. She is also obsessed with a Paddington Bear stuffed animal that she has and her My First Purse that her great grandparents bought for her. As I mentioned above, in general she just loves to carry stuff around with her, I think it's probably pretty exciting as she has never been able to hold a toy and move around at the same time. 

And one last, kind of odd, development is Kaitlin's sense of urgency.  When she decides that she has/wants to do something, sometimes she has to do it RIGHT NOW. She will "hypervenilate" ie, breathe really fast several times, when trying to do something (eat, throw a toy, play with her favorite toys). It is really strange and I can't figure out where she learned how to do it. She will also react in a similar way when we are getting ready for naps and bed time. We usually go around the room and say "goodnight" to various objects and pictures on the wall. Well recently she began pointing to a couple of bears on her bookshelf and the birds on the wall decal and breathing really fast and making a noise that sounds like "quick, quick, QUICK MOM I HAVE TO POINT TO THESE GUYS AND GO AND SAY HELLO AND GIVE THEM A KISS!! HURRYYYYY!!!"

Needless to say I am hoping this development is just a phase :)

What We're Lovin' - Month Ten and Eleven

Here is a quick round up of a few things we (mostly Kaitlin) is loving. Hope you find some inspiration for your little one and that they love them too!

Mini Orchestra Shaker

Quite a few months ago a good friend of mine brought these out to play during one of our play dates. Almost immediately Kaitlin went ga-ga for them. She already loves rattles of any kind and to make as much noise as possible, so these were a perfect fit. There are four different sounds, one for each shaker, and are all (reasonably) easy to listen to. Some of the toys she has that make noise make my ears want to bleed, but these are totally fine to listen to as she furiously shakes them as fast as she can. Over and over and over again. I keep one in my diaper bag, one in the car and two around the house for her shaking pleasure.

Water Table

A couple months ago we were at a friends house and they had a super fun water table that Kaitlin fell in love with. She had so much fun playing with it and splashing around (and chewing on all the toys that came with it) I knew she would have to have her own. I'm not one to rush out and buy Kaitlin a million toys (well, I try not to be) but I knew she would love having one and that it would last her for a couple of years as she grows into it. The next day I went to Toys R US and picked this guy up for $45. And that $45 was well spent. She is obsessed. I'm not even kidding. From her high chair she can see out the back door onto the porch right where the water table is kept. During breakfast she starts pointing and yelling at the door, motioning that she wants to play with the water table. I usually have to turn her chair around so that she can't see it, but immediately after I take her out she goes over to the door and starts banging on it trying to get out so she can play. Luckily it's getting warmer out in the mornings so I can let her play with it pretty early if she wants. And pretty much all she does now is chew/throw all the little toys that came with it and splashes her hands in the water. She has just learned to reach towards the funnel and will drop in the little toys if we lift her up (she's not quite tall enough to reach on her own). There are a bunch of other ways to play with the water table and it is sure to keep her entertained for many summers to come.

Monkey Lovey

When I started working and began leaving Kaitlin with a babysitter for the first time (I know, I know) she was so upset that I wanted to see if she would take to a special lovey or stuffed animal to make her feel comfortable and secure while I was away. She always had an odd connection to this little monkey lovey that my best friend bought for her, so I thought I would give that a try first. I was always afraid to give Kaitlin a lovey or security blanket in her crib because I thought it would make her stay even more awake since she had something to distract her and to play with. Turns out, if she doesn't want to sleep then she won't, no matter if there is a distraction there or not. I have actually found that since introducing the lovey she has been taking slightly better naps (though that could be a random coincidence, I've come to believe that nothing about naps makes sense or is necessarily for a reason). It didn't take her long to become attached to the little guy and now she takes it EVERYWHERE with her. I'm sure I've just created a bit of a monster (and need to immediately buy at least one more should something, ahem, happen to the monkey) I think it is great that she has become attached to it. She walks around with it everywhere, tries to crawl with it - which is quite a site to see when she is tripping all over it - and definitely has to have it with her at nap and bed time. Monkey has even been in the wash a few times and is still super soft just like he was when brand new.

Monkey scream from tracy lynn on Vimeo.

Playtex Lil' Gripper Straw Cup

Now that we are approaching Kaitlin's first birthday it was time for me to introduce other ways of drinking liquids other than a bottle. At first I gave her a sippy cup which she took to pretty quick, even though it took her two months to figure out how to drink from it. Then I remembered that our pediatrician said she didn't want her to use bottles or sippy cups after age one. The bottle is going to be a tough one to break but I figured we could easily swap out the sippy cup for a straw cup. Poor thing was a bit confused after months of being told to "lift the cup UP to get water!" to then be told "leave the cup DOWN or you won't get any water!" She still tips it upward quite a bit but she is getting more and more used to it. The reason I love these cups is because they are easy to drink out of but are a bit spill proof (ie the water doesn't come pouring out of the straw when it's knocked over), they are cheap (I definitely get these for much less at my local Kroger) and you can slide the cap piece over the straw to keep it water tight when you're on the go (making it a perfect cup to put in your diaper bag or stroller).

A reader recently asked me about Kaitlin's favorite books. I thought it might be fun to share a few of her favorites, and a few of mine. She doesn't really sit still long enough to read a long (or normal size) book, but there are a few that she will make an exception for.

1. As mentioned before, she is obsessed with the Indestructibles books. Baby Faces and Baby Babble are by far her favorites.

2. Peekaboo Farm by Emily Bolam is Kaitlin's current favorite book, hand picked by her. She loves to find the farm animals behind the flaps and she especially loves finding the "baby" (a reflective mirror) on the last page.

3. But Not the Hippopotamus by Sandra Boyton - Kaitlin will sit through about half of this book so far, but I think its quite cute and it rhymes which makes it easy to read to her even if she isn't sitting with me. We have a couple of books by this author and I personally love them, time will tell if Kaitlin likes them as much as I do!

4. Each Peach Pear Plum - Kaitlin doesn't sit still for this one but I think it's brilliant. It incorporates tons of children's stories characters, so I think it will be great in another year or two when we can then read more stories about the characters in the book.

5. On the Night You Were Born by Nancy Tillman - I love the story in this book. Kaitlin doesn't sit still for it but I still always try and read it to her. I think it's such a sweet book and has a cute message. It makes me a little teary :)

6. My First London Bus by Marion Billet - Kaitlin loves to turn the wheels on this book and she helps point out the birds and other objects in the story. It's not too long so she generally stays put for the whole story.

7. Bright Baby First Words Books - we actually have two of these books (this one and this one) and she loves them both. They are big and colorful and she likes to turn the board pages, over and over again. She is starting to point to certain objects that she recognizes and some that she just likes. I keep one in her bedroom and one downstairs and we play with both of them several times a day.

Watch Me Grow - Week 49 (and a half)

I can't believe there are only three weeks (well, more like two and a half) until Kaitlin turns one year old. It is really hard for me to wrap my head around!

Week forty nine brought a few exciting developments - including clapping, a ton of walking and even a new tooth! I had been teaching Kaitlin to clap for a few weeks now. I alway showed her how and would sing "Pat-a-cake" over and over again. And then one day, like so many other things, she just started randomly doing it on her own! And now she claps for EVERYTHING! And loves to look at you when she's doing it almost as if she's saying, "Look! I'm doing a good job!" She is also giving high-fives, which is super cute. She has stopped waving but I'm sure it's just because she is focusing on these new arm movements and gestures.

She also has started walking a lot more than before. She used to only take a few steps at a time, and then be done. OR have to be enticed to walk towards something (mom, dad or a favorite toy). Now she will walk long distances (across the room!) and does it regularly. I would say she now splits her time evenly between walking and crawling, but I think once she learns how to stand on her own (without using a piece of furniture, wall or person to help her) she will start walking full time. 

And, with much less anticipation and pain as previous ones, she got her eighth tooth! I didn't even notice that it was coming in until it actually popped through the gums. But that would probably explain some of her skipped naps lately (I thought those were due to the walking milestone that she was reaching). So that completes the first eight teeth that babies normally get first. Next it's on to molars and incisors, which I have heard make the first eight look like a walk in the park! Hopefully we have some time before those ones start to come in.

Watch Me Grow - Week 48 (and a half)

Man, I did so well getting last weeks update out on time, and here I am late again! Well, at least this time I have a good excuse.

Kaitlin had a big week last week. She was dealing with having a babysitter watch her during the day for the first time and she did NOT like it. I felt really bad with all the crying, runny noses and skipping meals (and that was just me! Just kidding...sort of). Slowly she seems to be adjusting. She is a really happy, friendly girl most of the time so I am hoping she is just taking a while getting to know this new sitter. 

She has two new obsessions that started last week - 

1. Reading her Peek-a-boo Farm book

2. Pointing to things around the room and then wanting to touch them

Both are actually really fun (the first few times at least...) and it's great to help teach her things (this is the light switch - it goes on, off, on, off) and to be able to sit down and read a book to her. Granted, the book is only 5 pages long and only contains about 20 words, but I'll take it!

She was on nap strike last week as well which made bedtime a nightmare and left her in an extra cranky mood for the sitter. All in all it was a tough week - but all the extra walking and talking (not to mention slobbery kisses that she excitedly gives out all the time now) make up for it :)

The Eleventh Month

What a busy month it has been. From more teething, to talking, to WALKING - Kaitlin has had no shortage of big developments this month. Not to mention that she also celebrated her first Easter! It has certainly been an exciting month - and I can't believe that she is ELEVEN months old already. *SOB*

I'm sure that I have mentioned before that I am convinced that babies grow, literally, over night. Well this month proved that theory again. Kaitlin's "talking" previously consisted of lots of "Dadadadada's" and some screaming and yelling. But that was about it. Then one day she all of a sudden started making more talking sounds - ya, ga, ba, and stringing them together to sound like "words". Her speech is (obviously) still in the very early stages, but she now makes lots of little word sounds and strings them together into sentences, of sorts. She talks to her toys and will point to objects around the room and say their "name" or "talk" to me about them. I still dont understand anything of what she is trying to say, but I think it is so cool that her speech has developed so quickly.

And speaking of pointing, let's go on and put that as her favorite thing to do nowadays. She loves, loves, LOVES to point to things around the room and go and visit them. For example - I have some Easter cards on our mantle (I know...time to get rid of them already! But now I can't!) and at some point she discovered that they were up there. She started pointing to them so I took her over to them so she could see them and she got the BIGGEST smile on her face and started laughing. She picked each one up and talked to it, flipped it around to look at the whole thing and even opened them up like she was reading them. Now that is one of her favorite things to do, we must go look at the cards 10 times a day. She also loves to point to the birds on the big decal on her wall. So every time we are in her room (especially before and after naps) we go say "hi" or "goodnight" to the birdies and owls. She points to them and even tries to give them kisses. 

One of Kaitlin's other new favorite activities is taking anything and everything out of its place. Books, kitchen supplies, clothes - they all fall prey to her throwing arm. She loves to empty things out and can quickly empty her bookshelf, my kitchen cabinets or her dresser drawers in the matter of a few minutes (and create quite the mess at the same time). She hasn't learned how to put things back yet, but I make sure to sing the "clean up song" ever time and she sits there with me while I put them away.

We have also started to actually read books together. Kaitlin is a mover and a shaker and I could never before get her to sit still to read a book with me. Now I can get her to sit for 5 minutes or so and we can actually read a book together! I have to either pick a really short book or read at lightening speed, but we're getting there. Her favorite book, and really only one that we read together, is called Peek-a-boo Farm and she LOVES to pull the flaps back and play peek-a-boo with the animals. The last page reveals a mirror that she can see herself in and she just thinks that is the best thing in the whole world. She loves the book so much that she will randomly give the cow and the mirror kisses! We read this book at least 5 times in a day - so while I know the whole things by heart she continues to love the "surprise" of animals playing peek-a-boo.

And the WALKING!! She is finally walking!! Kaitlin took her first steps on April 7, 2013 and her dad and I were both there to witness her first few steps! It was definitely exciting and she didn't really know what to think of it. Since then she has slowly made some more progress - she is now taking 5-10 steps at a time and is a lot more steady on her feet. She is still using crawling as her main mode of transportation, but she will now walk short distances without one of us prompting her to. We have taken away the walker toys and now hold one of her hands to practice walking. This has helped her straighten up and not relay on the walker to move her forward. It's been really hard to get a video of her walking by herself since her steps are so short lived, but I finally managed to get some proof! Check out my Vimeo page for lots of other silly Kaitlin videos.

Walking! from tracy lynn on Vimeo.

A few more things I have learned...

Buy a little before committing

What's the hardest thing about buying things for baby? Not know if he/she will like it or not. And believe me - babies have some strong opinions. Not only that, but you might find yourself having some strong opinions too. I am learning, slowly, to buy one a little of something before committing to it. This goes for a wide range of items - diapers, wipes, lotion, sippy cups, etc. If you have the option to buy a small sample or a small pack of something, DO IT. Even if the bigger option is cheaper, if you have never used it before trust me and buy a small amount. Don't go buying 6 of the same sippy cup (or straw cup) if your baby has never used it before. Guaranteed it'll be the one that they hate. And then you'll be stuck with six cups that you can't use. Same thing with big packs of diapers and lotions. And really, is it a good value if it just goes to waste?

Get a babysitter - EARLY ON

Ok, this is one of those "do as I say, not as I do" lessons. I always tsk-tsked parents that didn't get a babysitter early on so that the baby could get used to being taken care of someone else. And then, of course, I became one of those parents. I just couldn't justify spending money on a babysitter for a few hours when I didn't need one. And even if I did, it was usually to go out and spend even more money on buying something. So I put it off and put it off. On the rare occasion that I really did need someone to watch K I was able to drop her off at a friends house, so she was already familiar with them. Well, now that I am going back to work part time I have had to get a babysitter for K all day, and one that she had never met before. Put that together with this epic amount of separation anxiety and being a total mama's girl (which I secretly love) and you have one VERY upset little girl. So - do as I say, not as I do - and get a babysitter early on if you can. It'll make it easier for everyone.

Fresh air is good for kids...very, very good
My new nemesis is rainy days, and in a couple months it will be Houston summer days. Because those days mean we are stuck inside. And I have learned that spending a few days inside is no good for anyone. Kaitlin likes and needs to go outside, either on a long walk or at the playground. Heck, even just playing around in our small yard is better than nothing. I'm sure I will eventually learn to just put on a rain jacket and play outside anyway, but until she's walking and not crawling we stay indoors when it's wet. I have noticed that she sleeps better and is in a better mood after spending some time outside. She loves looking at everything around her while taking a walk in her stroller, and I have mentioned several times how much she loves going to the park. I anticipate this to stay true for quite some time, especially as she learns to walk, run and has even MORE energy (which I don't even know how is possible).

So...this is it. We are heading into the last month of her first year. I can't wait to see what's in store!

How do you handle the fear?

When things like this happen - national tragedies, that is - I never know how to respond. Does it matter if I tweet or update my Facebook status about how upset/shocked/terrified I am? Maybe. Maybe not. Often times I don't say anything but still pour over the news coverage, obsessively refresh my twitter feed for more updates and spend countless hours worrying. And fear. There is always fear.

I never used to be like this. I never used to be so afraid. I had an easy childhood - grew up in the middle of the country with loving parents and a spunky little sister. The worst thing that happened to me, gratefully, was another childish spat with my sister or some high school boy drama. I had little to worry about, besides your average teenage angst. For that I am forever grateful.

September 11th was the first time I felt real fear. I was in college, two hours north of NYC. I didn't know anyone in the towers, or in the planes, or in Washington DC. But I knew that day would change us all, in some way or another. The next few years were lived without fear, in NYC, and again - for that I am grateful.

My first twinges of anxiety and fear happened when I was in London. Every now and again I would get slightly claustrophobic about being on the tube. If you've ever been on it you know that it's quite a but smaller than the NYC subway (though there are, it seams, less rats). I kept having terrible thoughts about someone trying to blow up the tube. Or even worse - when I was riding the bus. I was always nervous while riding the bus (which was at least 2x/day). But the real fear came with flying. I know. ME. The Traveling Cupcake. Afraid of flying. It progressed rapidly over one year when finally I had to get help. I knew that I had to conquer this fear before I had children (and we weren't even thinking about having kids at this point) because I didn't want them to see me, and be afraid. I wanted to be strong for them. The fear of flying seems to run in my family as, I would venture to say, anxiety in general does. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it hit me, but the big question was why? Why now?

Maybe because I had something to care about other than myself. I was married now to the love of my life and increasingly more convinced that something bad was going to happen. Maybe it was because I flew so dang much that I became acutely aware of all the little noises, creaks and groans a plane makes during flight. Maybe I just decided to hop on the crazy train. Your guess is as good as mine.

And now. Now I have the most amazing blessing a person could ever ask for. My first born child. And while my fear of flying is a thing of the past (err...for the most part) I have a whole bunch of new fears to focus on.

I'm afraid of bombs.

I'm afraid of madmen shooting up random, innocent places.

I'm afraid of hurricanes and floods and tornados.

I'm afraid of car accidents.

I'm afraid of something horrible happening to my husband or I.

Or even worse, something happening to my baby.

Maybe it was naive of me to not realize that not only would I feel unconditional love for my child but also (what seems like) unconditional fear. It seems like everything is a possible threat these days. And then, of course, it spirals out from there. I realize that I don't ever want her to feel pain. I don't want anyone to ever hurt her - physically, emotionally or in any other way. I fear for her safety, her well being. I don't even want something so terrible to happen to her that she won't be able to get over it or that it changes her forever.

Don't worry - most of this is in my head. I don't keep us locked at home, "protected" from possible dangers of the outside world. We lead a very normal life. Most days I don't even think about the fear, and when it pops up I quickly dismiss it using some of the tricks I learned in therapy. But it's still there.

What if something horrible happens to her.

What if something horrible happens to me.

What if.

What if.

What if.

And I know its only going to get harder. Blessedly, Kaitlin has no idea about the horrible tragedies that have happened during her first year of life. Aurora, Colorado. Newtown. Boston marathon. And too many others to list. Even "everyday tragedies" like missing children and accidents at home. I don't yet have to deal with having to talk to her about these horrific things that take place in our society. I don't have to find the words to explain why evil people decide to prey on innocent folks. I don't yet have to look into her eyes and show her that I am not afraid of these bad people (even though I am. I really, really am) and that I am strong and that I will protect her. I'm hoping it's one of those things that you just do, because you have to, and in that moment you know exactly how to do it.

So, I want to know from you, my friends. How do you handle the fear? We all have to be functioning members of society so we can't live in fear all the time, even if we want to. How do you handle it? How do you send your kids off to school each day without breaking down nervous that today might be the day something terrible happens at their school? How do you be strong for your kids when you yourself are afraid? I ask this in earnest as I really don't know how it's done. Who taught you...and can you teach me?

I'll bring cookies, I promise.