How To Travel With a One Year Old

We took our first vacation with "Kaitlin the Toddler" last week and boy did I learn some lessons. Some were good lessons and some were bad. I'm here to share a few with you in hope that you can (as always) learn from my mistakes. The last time we flew with Kaitlin was back in December, when she was barely seven months old and not even crawling. I won't say the flights were impeccable, but they sure were easier since she couldn't move independently. Now that we have a squirmy, walking (running), knows-what-she-wants toddler, flying is a whole new ball game.

1. Pack a few, well thought-out, key toys - I knew that we were going to have to bring some toys with us but I didn't want to have to check another bag with just toys in it. Luckily, the items that Kaitlin is most interested in at the moment are fairly small. I grabbed a few wood blocks (for her to stack and throw), a couple of water/bath toys and a couple of animals from her Little People Noah's Ark. I put them in a plastic toy case (that she happens to LOVE to play with, for some strange reason) and hid them from her a few days before the trip. The same goes with books. I chose a couple of key favorites that wouldn't get me in trouble with the luggage scale and hid them in my suitcase a few days before the trip. That way when I pulled each item out during our trip she was super excited to see and play with them.

*These Indestructibles books are PERFECT for traveling as they are super thin and weigh virtually nothing!*

2. Buy a couple of new toys - New, or at least new-to-your-baby, toys can be super exciting (ie attention grabbing) for little ones this age. I bought two new toys and introduced one on the flight to Jackson Hole, and saved the other one for the flight home. The first toy was a "grab-and-go" set from Michaels which included crayons, a coloring book and stickers. Turns out Kaitlin is too young for the coloring part (she just wanted to put the crayons in her mouth) but she had a grand old time with the stickers (which, also, ended up in her mouth). She was even mildly amused by watching me color. The second new toy I bought was this Melissa and Doug Reusable Sticker set. I had heard through the grape vine that reusable stickers (vinyl stickers) were highly entertaining to toddlers and boy were they ever! This kept Kaitlin busy and entertained for over an hour, which in toddler-time is virtually a lifetime. Amazing!! My only complaint is that it's quite large. I wish they made one that was half as big. Luckily my husband and I were sitting together, otherwise our neighbor would have had vinyl farm animals all over her seat. I'm on the hunt for a smaller version of this - if you know of one please let me know! And by the way - please don't feel like you have to spend a bunch of money buying new crap for your kid. If your friends with kids the same age have some different toys than what you have, and are willing to trade or let you borrow for the length of your vacation, this is just as good! Even better really since you won't have to spend any dough.

3. Utilize the in-flight entertainment - And remember, what may not be interesting to you might be SUPER EXCITING to your toddler. We let Kaitlin play with the safety manual, SkyMall and airline magazines during all four of our flights (I know...I still need another drink just thinking about it) and they kept her very entertained. And shockingly enough, the most entertaining toy was an empty beverage cup and three napkins that I crumpled into balls. She played with it for nearly a half hour taking the napkins out and putting them back in. Again - a half an hour in toddle-time is pretty much a whole year, so - SCORE! And of course, if your flight has personal TVs stick a pair of headphones on your baby and let them watch a cartoon! Who knows if they will keep the headphones on, but they are likely to watch the cartoon. We didn't have individual TVs on our flights (ahem, UNITED, ahem) but I am definitely going to do this when I fly jetBlue next month. We don't normally let Kaitlin watch tv, but on a special occasion (wait, special for who??) a few minutes of TV won't hurt your kid and just might save your sanity.

4. Take advantage of the kindness of strangers - I was pleasantly surprised at how nice people were about Kaitlin's behavior during our trip. I am not one to be overly apologetic to strangers about my kid - she is, for the most part, well behaved but yes she does throw tantrums, especially when she hasn't slept in 8 hours. She is 14 months old, what do you expect? But I do feel bad when she is shrieking in someone else's ear. I nearly kissed a guy sitting in the row behind us when he started playing peek-a-boo with Kaitlin during one of our descents. She had been getting particularly fussy and then all of a sudden she started laughing and smiling. When I thanked him he said, "Don't worry about it! I have kids of my own, I know how it is." And much to my surprise we heard this over and over again throughout our trip. Another family let Kaitlin blatantly watch their Duck Tales movie over their shoulders (and subsequently drool and laugh in their ears). They didn't say one word to us, though it should be noted that their youngest (maybe 3 years old?) was throwing an EPIC tantrum during much of the flight.  Maybe we got lucky. It seemed like all of our seat-mates and surrounding passengers have or had kids/grandkids and were so gracious about interacting with Kaitlin (or at least not complaining about her). And I should be giving Kaitlin some credit too - even though we had a couple of meltdowns she was a great traveler and was super smiley to everyone she met.

5. Bring supplies, lots and lots of supplies - this also holds true for traveling with an infant, but make sure you are OVER prepared with diapers, wipes and food. I packed 10 diapers for Kaitlin in my carry-on and thought that it was excessive. She ended up using 8 of those diapers by the time we made it to our hotel. Suddenly 10 didn't seem so crazy. I brought 2 packs of wipes, medicine, a change of clothes (for her) and a TON of food and snacks. I'm not saying that you should pack everything but the kitchen sink (ok, I kind of am) but definitely over-pack on certain items that you know you won't be able to buy inside the terminal (diapers, wipes, certain snacks/food, etc). You might not end up needing them, but it's pretty much a guarantee that if you don't over-pack them then you'll definitely wish you had. Some snacks and food that got us through the trip include peanut butter sandwiches, bananas and endless amounts of cheerios!

6. Fly during nap awake whenever you can - I have heard many times that it is best to fly during your child's nap time. That way they will be tired and are more likely to fall asleep during your flight. I have also heard that you should fly during their awake time so that they aren't cranky and overtired. Here's the thing - your kid either sleeps during a flight or they don't. Just like your kid either sleeps in the car or they don't. In the end, it doesn't really matter when you fly (or drive) because they will either sleep (if that's the kind of baby that they are) or not (if that's the kind of baby that they are). My child will.not.sleep unless she is in her crib. Trust me, four flights and endless hours in a car during a week long vacation and I can tell you she slept exactly 30 minutes (in the car) during ALL forms of transportation. The girl just won't sleep unless she is in a crib or pack-n-play. And unless you are flying on a private jet (and if you are - Hi! Do you want to be friends?) you likely have to be at the airport 2+ hours before your flight anyway, which combined with actual flight time pretty much guarantees that you will be traveling - at some point - during an inconvenient time. My advice - get the best flight for your needs and then just grin and bear it. Travel days will probably suck. Have a strong cocktail waiting for you at the end of your journey and then focus on the FUN you're going to have on your vacation!

Do you have any tips or tricks on how to travel with your one year old or toddler? I would LOVE to hear them! Leave a comment below so we can all share and *hopefully* find some success!

Many of you might have noticed that I left off using an iPhone or iPad to keep your toddler entertained, which is pretty much the easiest no brainer solution to traveling with a toddler. I only mention tactics that worked for us and we don't let Kaitlin use either of these at the moment. The only thing I will let her do on my iPhone is look at photos (she LOVES to look at pictures of herself). We almost bit the bullet for the trip home and were going to buy some toddler apps and cartoons for the iPad, but Kaitlin proved she couldn't be trusted just yet. I was letting her go through pictures on my phone and when it was time to put it away she threw an EPIC tantrum. We knew there was no way we would be able to let her play with the iPad without her going nuts when we tried to take it away. We decided it was better to suffer without the iPad than to create a monster. And I'm not saying that your kid is a monster if you use an iPad or tablet with them. Many kids do just fine playing a game or two and then calling it quits. You are the lucky ones as that is not my child ;) 

The Eleventh Month

What a busy month it has been. From more teething, to talking, to WALKING - Kaitlin has had no shortage of big developments this month. Not to mention that she also celebrated her first Easter! It has certainly been an exciting month - and I can't believe that she is ELEVEN months old already. *SOB*

I'm sure that I have mentioned before that I am convinced that babies grow, literally, over night. Well this month proved that theory again. Kaitlin's "talking" previously consisted of lots of "Dadadadada's" and some screaming and yelling. But that was about it. Then one day she all of a sudden started making more talking sounds - ya, ga, ba, and stringing them together to sound like "words". Her speech is (obviously) still in the very early stages, but she now makes lots of little word sounds and strings them together into sentences, of sorts. She talks to her toys and will point to objects around the room and say their "name" or "talk" to me about them. I still dont understand anything of what she is trying to say, but I think it is so cool that her speech has developed so quickly.

And speaking of pointing, let's go on and put that as her favorite thing to do nowadays. She loves, loves, LOVES to point to things around the room and go and visit them. For example - I have some Easter cards on our mantle (I know...time to get rid of them already! But now I can't!) and at some point she discovered that they were up there. She started pointing to them so I took her over to them so she could see them and she got the BIGGEST smile on her face and started laughing. She picked each one up and talked to it, flipped it around to look at the whole thing and even opened them up like she was reading them. Now that is one of her favorite things to do, we must go look at the cards 10 times a day. She also loves to point to the birds on the big decal on her wall. So every time we are in her room (especially before and after naps) we go say "hi" or "goodnight" to the birdies and owls. She points to them and even tries to give them kisses. 

One of Kaitlin's other new favorite activities is taking anything and everything out of its place. Books, kitchen supplies, clothes - they all fall prey to her throwing arm. She loves to empty things out and can quickly empty her bookshelf, my kitchen cabinets or her dresser drawers in the matter of a few minutes (and create quite the mess at the same time). She hasn't learned how to put things back yet, but I make sure to sing the "clean up song" ever time and she sits there with me while I put them away.

We have also started to actually read books together. Kaitlin is a mover and a shaker and I could never before get her to sit still to read a book with me. Now I can get her to sit for 5 minutes or so and we can actually read a book together! I have to either pick a really short book or read at lightening speed, but we're getting there. Her favorite book, and really only one that we read together, is called Peek-a-boo Farm and she LOVES to pull the flaps back and play peek-a-boo with the animals. The last page reveals a mirror that she can see herself in and she just thinks that is the best thing in the whole world. She loves the book so much that she will randomly give the cow and the mirror kisses! We read this book at least 5 times in a day - so while I know the whole things by heart she continues to love the "surprise" of animals playing peek-a-boo.

And the WALKING!! She is finally walking!! Kaitlin took her first steps on April 7, 2013 and her dad and I were both there to witness her first few steps! It was definitely exciting and she didn't really know what to think of it. Since then she has slowly made some more progress - she is now taking 5-10 steps at a time and is a lot more steady on her feet. She is still using crawling as her main mode of transportation, but she will now walk short distances without one of us prompting her to. We have taken away the walker toys and now hold one of her hands to practice walking. This has helped her straighten up and not relay on the walker to move her forward. It's been really hard to get a video of her walking by herself since her steps are so short lived, but I finally managed to get some proof! Check out my Vimeo page for lots of other silly Kaitlin videos.

Walking! from tracy lynn on Vimeo.

A few more things I have learned...

Buy a little before committing

What's the hardest thing about buying things for baby? Not know if he/she will like it or not. And believe me - babies have some strong opinions. Not only that, but you might find yourself having some strong opinions too. I am learning, slowly, to buy one a little of something before committing to it. This goes for a wide range of items - diapers, wipes, lotion, sippy cups, etc. If you have the option to buy a small sample or a small pack of something, DO IT. Even if the bigger option is cheaper, if you have never used it before trust me and buy a small amount. Don't go buying 6 of the same sippy cup (or straw cup) if your baby has never used it before. Guaranteed it'll be the one that they hate. And then you'll be stuck with six cups that you can't use. Same thing with big packs of diapers and lotions. And really, is it a good value if it just goes to waste?

Get a babysitter - EARLY ON

Ok, this is one of those "do as I say, not as I do" lessons. I always tsk-tsked parents that didn't get a babysitter early on so that the baby could get used to being taken care of someone else. And then, of course, I became one of those parents. I just couldn't justify spending money on a babysitter for a few hours when I didn't need one. And even if I did, it was usually to go out and spend even more money on buying something. So I put it off and put it off. On the rare occasion that I really did need someone to watch K I was able to drop her off at a friends house, so she was already familiar with them. Well, now that I am going back to work part time I have had to get a babysitter for K all day, and one that she had never met before. Put that together with this epic amount of separation anxiety and being a total mama's girl (which I secretly love) and you have one VERY upset little girl. So - do as I say, not as I do - and get a babysitter early on if you can. It'll make it easier for everyone.

Fresh air is good for kids...very, very good
My new nemesis is rainy days, and in a couple months it will be Houston summer days. Because those days mean we are stuck inside. And I have learned that spending a few days inside is no good for anyone. Kaitlin likes and needs to go outside, either on a long walk or at the playground. Heck, even just playing around in our small yard is better than nothing. I'm sure I will eventually learn to just put on a rain jacket and play outside anyway, but until she's walking and not crawling we stay indoors when it's wet. I have noticed that she sleeps better and is in a better mood after spending some time outside. She loves looking at everything around her while taking a walk in her stroller, and I have mentioned several times how much she loves going to the park. I anticipate this to stay true for quite some time, especially as she learns to walk, run and has even MORE energy (which I don't even know how is possible).

So...this is it. We are heading into the last month of her first year. I can't wait to see what's in store!

How do you handle the fear?

When things like this happen - national tragedies, that is - I never know how to respond. Does it matter if I tweet or update my Facebook status about how upset/shocked/terrified I am? Maybe. Maybe not. Often times I don't say anything but still pour over the news coverage, obsessively refresh my twitter feed for more updates and spend countless hours worrying. And fear. There is always fear.

I never used to be like this. I never used to be so afraid. I had an easy childhood - grew up in the middle of the country with loving parents and a spunky little sister. The worst thing that happened to me, gratefully, was another childish spat with my sister or some high school boy drama. I had little to worry about, besides your average teenage angst. For that I am forever grateful.

September 11th was the first time I felt real fear. I was in college, two hours north of NYC. I didn't know anyone in the towers, or in the planes, or in Washington DC. But I knew that day would change us all, in some way or another. The next few years were lived without fear, in NYC, and again - for that I am grateful.

My first twinges of anxiety and fear happened when I was in London. Every now and again I would get slightly claustrophobic about being on the tube. If you've ever been on it you know that it's quite a but smaller than the NYC subway (though there are, it seams, less rats). I kept having terrible thoughts about someone trying to blow up the tube. Or even worse - when I was riding the bus. I was always nervous while riding the bus (which was at least 2x/day). But the real fear came with flying. I know. ME. The Traveling Cupcake. Afraid of flying. It progressed rapidly over one year when finally I had to get help. I knew that I had to conquer this fear before I had children (and we weren't even thinking about having kids at this point) because I didn't want them to see me, and be afraid. I wanted to be strong for them. The fear of flying seems to run in my family as, I would venture to say, anxiety in general does. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that it hit me, but the big question was why? Why now?

Maybe because I had something to care about other than myself. I was married now to the love of my life and increasingly more convinced that something bad was going to happen. Maybe it was because I flew so dang much that I became acutely aware of all the little noises, creaks and groans a plane makes during flight. Maybe I just decided to hop on the crazy train. Your guess is as good as mine.

And now. Now I have the most amazing blessing a person could ever ask for. My first born child. And while my fear of flying is a thing of the past (err...for the most part) I have a whole bunch of new fears to focus on.

I'm afraid of bombs.

I'm afraid of madmen shooting up random, innocent places.

I'm afraid of hurricanes and floods and tornados.

I'm afraid of car accidents.

I'm afraid of something horrible happening to my husband or I.

Or even worse, something happening to my baby.

Maybe it was naive of me to not realize that not only would I feel unconditional love for my child but also (what seems like) unconditional fear. It seems like everything is a possible threat these days. And then, of course, it spirals out from there. I realize that I don't ever want her to feel pain. I don't want anyone to ever hurt her - physically, emotionally or in any other way. I fear for her safety, her well being. I don't even want something so terrible to happen to her that she won't be able to get over it or that it changes her forever.

Don't worry - most of this is in my head. I don't keep us locked at home, "protected" from possible dangers of the outside world. We lead a very normal life. Most days I don't even think about the fear, and when it pops up I quickly dismiss it using some of the tricks I learned in therapy. But it's still there.

What if something horrible happens to her.

What if something horrible happens to me.

What if.

What if.

What if.

And I know its only going to get harder. Blessedly, Kaitlin has no idea about the horrible tragedies that have happened during her first year of life. Aurora, Colorado. Newtown. Boston marathon. And too many others to list. Even "everyday tragedies" like missing children and accidents at home. I don't yet have to deal with having to talk to her about these horrific things that take place in our society. I don't have to find the words to explain why evil people decide to prey on innocent folks. I don't yet have to look into her eyes and show her that I am not afraid of these bad people (even though I am. I really, really am) and that I am strong and that I will protect her. I'm hoping it's one of those things that you just do, because you have to, and in that moment you know exactly how to do it.

So, I want to know from you, my friends. How do you handle the fear? We all have to be functioning members of society so we can't live in fear all the time, even if we want to. How do you handle it? How do you send your kids off to school each day without breaking down nervous that today might be the day something terrible happens at their school? How do you be strong for your kids when you yourself are afraid? I ask this in earnest as I really don't know how it's done. Who taught you...and can you teach me?

I'll bring cookies, I promise.

The Tenth Month

We finally saw the return of our smiley, happy baby in her tenth month. Sure, she still cries and gets frustrated, but she is slowly learning how to handle those emotions and I am getting better at recognizing them. It helps that her two front teeth have now come it - they were tough ones and seemed to really bother her a lot. As Kaitlin approaches her one year birthday I can see more and more toddler in her every day. She is becoming less of a baby and more of a toddler - and as cute and fun as it is, it makes me really sad too. She is becoming more and more independent and I know once she starts walking I'll be lucky if I can grab her for a few seconds for a quick cuddle. I'm really taking in these last few "baby" months and trying to enjoy every minute of it.

This truly is the golden age of babies. Kaitlin's personality continues to emerge and shine through a little more each day. She is starting to really laugh and come out of her shell, even when we are around other people. She loves to "talk", especially while eating or in the car - Brian says she sings along to the music on the radio. She shows true pleasure and displeasure from playing with a toy (or when a toy is taken away from her).

Her top two middle teeth have finally come in, and although it took a couple rough weeks of skipped naps/tons of drool/chewing on EVERYTHING, she is finally back to her normal self. That makes a total of SIX teeth as of today. And the road to walking continues. She is so much more confident on her feet now than she was a month ago. There is no piece of furniture that she can't cruise on and she easily moves from on piece to another. She crawls super fast too, zooming around the house to get to whatever she wants to play with. She's discovered that she can open cabinets and drawers, and could spend endless hours in the kitchen and pantry pulling things down and playing with them. No hand towel is safe from being pulled down and thrown around the room.

I love how calm and relaxed she looks in this picture - just chillin' at the grocery store!

Kaitlin is also starting to become one smart cookie. Long gone are the days when I could hide something from her so she wouldn't play/drool/chew on it. Now when I hide something from her (usually my iPhone or the remote) she goes right for it - whether I hide it behind my back or up on the chair - she knows where I put it and tries to get it. And you can't just shake another toy in front of her face and hope that it distracts her long enough for her to forget about it. Believe me, I've tried. She basically gives me a blank stare long enough to say, "Seriously mom? Is that the best you've got?" and then goes right back to trying to get whatever I've "hidden" from her.

Another exciting thing that has been developing over the last month is how much Kaitlin loves to play on the playground - and not just the swings. Sure, she still LOVES to swing and is still obsessed. But now that she can climb up stairs and stand easily and crawl like a crazy person she really enjoys going on the play set/jungle gym (what are they called these days?!) She crawls up the stairs, loves to "drive" with the wheel and even go down the slide! And I think most of all she loves all the other kids that are playing too. She is constantly observing them and watching what they are doing. You can see the little wheels in her head turning trying to figure out if she can do it to and how much she wants to play with them. I think its great for her to be around slightly older babies/toddlers to watch them walk and play, hopefully it encourages her to take those first steps. Although I'm sure as soon as she does I am going to regret saying that :)

I had to think pretty long and hard about what I've learned this month. While I am always learning more about being a parent, I feel like those monumental, big realizations and lessons have slowly tapered off and aren't popping up as often as they used to. Either that or my head is so full of nursery rhymes, diaper orders and nursery school applications that I just can't remember them. Alas, I managed to scrounge up a couple of nuggets of lessons learned this past month...

Sometimes, showers are overrated...

As you may or may not remember, one of the first lessons I learned after becoming a mom was that a nice, hot shower will make you feel human again. I still very strongly believe that. However, I used to need to take a shower to make me feel more like myself, and to give myself a break from the baby. But now...now that I have a better handle on things and we are in more of a routine and I am a lot less frazzled by being a mom (but still frazzled, let's be real here), I feel less of a need to take a shower every single day. And let's be honest - who has time for that $h*t?! Now that my business is starting to pick up and with tons of house projects that always seem to be lurking on my to-do list, sometimes I feel much better and much more sane NOT taking a shower. Sometimes I just don't want to waste one of the two breaks I get in a day (ie, nap time) taking a shower and getting dressed. Dude, embrace the yoga pants and a pony tail and get on with your day!

Routine, routine, routine

If you have read this blog for any length of time you probably know that naps are not Kaitlin's strong suit. Other than that, she's a really good baby. One thing that I have learned - particularly over the last month - is that routine matters. What's that old saying - you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink? With all the obstacles and growing pains that babies go through it is imperative to have a stable routine that they can depend on. Whether or not Kaitlin ends up taking her two naps a day, that's anyones guess. But the important thing is that I put her down for those naps at (roughly) the same time every day. She knows that we will have her solid breakfast an hour after she wakes up in the morning. If we haven't made it out of the house all morning she is crawling over to her stroller in the afternoon wanting to go outside and take one of our walks. Babies are smart and even if you don't think they remember certain things it's amazing what they will surprise you with. Also, when they are going through rough times of change - think teething, growth spurts, cognitive leaps - it's important for the rest of their life to stay stable. I am convinced that if you stick to your routine during these times of change (as much as you can, of course, and afterwards you might need to tweek your routine depending on what milestone has just passed) it helps them get through them faster and easier.