...When are you going to have another one?
There are a series of questions that you will inevitably be asked during your lifetime:
"Where are you going to college?"
"When are you guys going to get married?"
"When are you going to have kids?"
"When you are going to have another kid?"
(How many kids do you have to have before people stop asking that last one?)
I'm sure there are more, but I haven't reached those stages of my life yet. Admit it - you're guilty of asking one or all of these questions to your friends/family/random people.
I am totally guilty of this, even though I don't love being asked these questions myself. I think it's just in our human nature to want to know people's life plan. Also, it's an easy conversation starter, especially if you're talking to someone who you don't really know that well. Which, of course, makes these questions all the more awkward to answer.
I remember being asked at my wedding reception when were we going to have kids. For the love - the ink hadn't even dried on our marriage certificate and we were already getting pressured to have kids! But in truth, these questions don't really bother me. I know that people sometimes ask them without thinking that it might be an uncomfortable question to answer. I find myself asking these questions to people all the time, and immediately want to put my foot into my mouth. I rarely take offense to it and usually have a witty come back if I'm talking to someone I'm not that close to. Asking these questions between friends is, for me at least, completely fair game and not uncomfortable (again, for me) at all.
And let's be honest...you know you've thought about it too. You have probably asked yourself many of these same questions at least a dozen times.
Now that we have one happy and healthy baby under our belts I get asked this question all the time - by friends, family, random people and myself. So, when are we going to have another one?
A friend and I were talking about this very topic a few months back when Kaitlin was only a couple months old. I was still in that newborn fog where the days and nights run together and seem endless, you still haven't figured out which cry means what and everything is a bit of a blur. She said to me, "Do you think you'll have another?" At that very moment in time I felt like screaming "HELL NO!" I could barely get my act together with one kid, how on earth would I be able to handle two (or more). At the time, her baby was six or seven months old. She kind of gave me a knowing smile and said something along the lines of, "Just wait. Wait until they get to this age when they are so much fun."
Well - Kaitlin is now that age. And I completely know what she was talking about. Kaitlin greets us with a million smiles every morning, thinks that peek-a-boo is the funniest game on earth and is learning and growing in leaps and bounds. This really is the best stage - if only they came out of the womb at this age (ouch, maybe not). Some days we even resemble a family that has it all together. Naps are a dream, everyone is in a good mood and we have so much fun together. But those are few and far between. That's not to say that every other day is a drag - not even close - but they are a bit more, ahem, challenging. And again - that's only with one child. That alone would be reason not to reproduce anymore, but on top of that I'm pretty sure I'm still not 100% healed from having the first one. And my memories of her birth are far too fresh, I think I'll need them to fade a bit more so that all that are left are the rosie, happy ones before I can seriously consider having another one.
But, like an itch you can't help but scratch, those little thoughts come creeping into your brain. You find yourself thinking about all the things you'll do differently next time. You think of how wonderful it would be to have two little ones smiling at you like a maniac and how fun it would be for them to play and grow up together. (Those angst ridden teenage years aren't even a blip on your radar at this point) And before you know it you find yourself pondering that age old question, "When are we going to have another one?"